Mar 27, 2019
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Before I Do (Part 3)

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For you to be committed before and after saying I DO, you must have a strong WHY. This is the reason for agreeing to the engagement in the first place

How can you stay true to those wedding vows without commitment? According to Cambridge dictionary, Commitment is the willingness to give your time and energy to something that you believe in. The REAL question then is, “Do you believe in the journey of a lifelong relationship you are about to start?” The BIG question is WHY do you want to initiate the lifelong relationship? If you can answer these questions, you will commit to working out the salvation of marriage.

How can you stay true to those wedding vows without commitment?

According to Cambridge dictionary, Commitment is the willingness to give your time and energy to something that you believe in.

The REAL question then is, “Do you believe in the journey of a lifelong relationship you are about to start?” The BIG question is WHY do you want to initiate the lifelong relationship?

If you can answer these questions, you will commit to working out the salvation of marriage.

For you to be committed before and after saying I DO, you must have a strong WHY.  This is the reason for agreeing to the engagement in the first place. So identify your WHY…….why do I want to marry, why this person, etc.

You need to sincerely answer these questions because there will be defining moments in a relationship when you will need to take a decision. Will your decision still be that you are committed to the relationship? I am not going to tell you this is or will be easy.

At a point in Jesus’ life, He told the Father to let the cup be taken away. But because He is committed to the cause, He said; let thy will be done.

Bradbury said “when the stakes are high, our relationships are vulnerable’. Commitment is simply staying true to your vows long after you have professed it. Marriage is a shared journey; so is commitment.

How can I remain committed after years of marriage? It is by simply acting on what will keep the marriage alive. It could be as simple as watching film together, walking side by side, holding hands, speaking words of affirmation, putting off your phone when you are together, allowing his/her decision to stand, careful use of words, given listening ears, etc. All of these and more can help in reinforcing your commitment to your marriage.

You invest in the commitment to your marriage to stay committed. If the intensity of investment put into the wedding day preparation can be put into the marriage, the marriage will be successful on every side.

More instances include Time, money, forfeiting your wants at times, energy, staying away from family members, etc. are part of the investments.  Commitment is hard work and it must be done to keep your union alive.

Do you know that lack of commitment to marriage is you being an absent spouse? An absent spouse is that spouse that is not willing to make things work, the spouse who finds it difficult to forsake all others, the spouse that cheats – both in words and in deeds.

 Becoming one flesh means to do whatever it takes to make the relationship successful. This is what commitment really all about.

“In a long-term relationship, both parties cannot always get their way but they both have the obligation to make it work”.

What do you do when it’s difficult? Find ways to compromise, or at least have the conversation that allows you and your partner to see things differently – communication is key.

My husband and I have had to compromise and will still compromise. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. We only need to have that big conversation. Communicating in challenging times can be as important as the result of the dialog.

In a lifelong relationship, disagreement is unavoidable, but the conflict is optional. To stay committed to marriage, avoid piggy bank relationship. Avoid keeping records of how you get your way or how you compromise.

Commitment is different for everyone but it is always about a level of dedication that’s mutually agreed upon. Commitment is really about support, communication, compromise, and planning for the future TOGETHER. It’s something you both need to confirm that you’re willing to put in the necessary effort for, instead of just holding your breath and hoping for the best.

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Nike Adigun, The Pre-marriage Educator is a career HR generalist. She is also the founder & CEO of MyNaked, a game changer place for Marriage Education. Nike Adigun is a certified HR practitioner, Emotional Intelligence Performer, Relationship Assessment Facilitator and also a certified Marriage Mentor. She is passionate about God, family and giving couples a smart start in building a solid marriage relationship in a godly way. She is happily married to the crown on her head.

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