Mar 27, 2019
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For Better For Worse

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When you were born into your family, you knew not what the future of the family holds. Through the thick and thin of your growing up, you never changed or denied that you came from this family. Yes, you did not choose to be in that family but eventually, here you are. And now you are forever bound to be in that family. Likewise, marriage is likened to this and on your wedding day, you are totally oblivious of what tomorrow holds for you. The only institution you get a certificate before you enroll in the school. Through the thick and thin, you should remain. During the vows on your wedding day, with all smiles and happiness, you can’t believe this, but you made the vow that for better for worse you will be with this person, stand by this person, go through life with this person never do ill to this person.

Therefore, for the singles, I will rather say, choose your life partner carefully. If the Bible says he that finds a wife find a good thing, then your finding must be good. You have to choose to be patient enough to find that which is “YOUR” own version of Good. To the engaged and already married couples, Commitment is the name of the game in marriage and commitment is doing what you vowed to do long after your vow.  For better for worse is a function of commitment. Same way you are committed to your family when all was well and otherwise, you should be committed to your marriage as well. Each party’s level of commitment will determine how they will pull through whatever it is they are going through. In marriage, there cannot be a mutual benefit without mutual commitment. For instance, if the two are committed, they should be able to have a reasonable conversation on how to solve the cooking situation if that poses an issue. The lady can present her case before her husband and state how she has been committed all the years to grinding, pounding, etc and if the man too is willing to hold their home, he should give it a thought.

Above all, the heart of a man is in God’s hand and He directs it to wherever He pleases. Before calling for the heart to heart talk, discuss it with God, get a note of victory, then go ahead in a respectful manner and present your case to your husband/wife as the situation deems it. Here is a personal testimony on this. I once had a sensitive situation that I wanted to handle it by myself. I knew it could generate more issues so I decided to pray about it. It was like God wasn’t coming through on that matter but I held unto Him. Then we had a communion service in Church and I prayed to God about it before I took the communion. That night, my husband by himself called me to discuss it and that was how God came through for me.

Marriage is such a tender baby that must be nurtured carefully but you can’t do it if you have the attitude of “I shan’t agree” You must be willing to look beyond your mindset and opinions and discuss the matter with your spouse so as to help him/her better understand you but never force your opinion on your spouse. Give him/her the time to grow into it. That way, when risks need to be taken, you will have the backing of your better half in the matter.

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Nike Adigun, The Pre-marriage Educator is a career HR generalist. She is also the founder & CEO of MyNaked, a game changer place for Marriage Education. Nike Adigun is a certified HR practitioner, Emotional Intelligence Performer, Relationship Assessment Facilitator and also a certified Marriage Mentor. She is passionate about God, family and giving couples a smart start in building a solid marriage relationship in a godly way. She is happily married to the crown on her head.

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