Marriage is not just about our “individual” responsibilities. It’s beyond that. Rather, it’s about communicating ideas, thoughts, and concepts about each spouse’s want and finding common ground.
We cannot overemphasize the fact that marriage is between a man and a woman that has agreed to come together as one.
Up until that moment of proclamation as husband and wife, both parties can be referred to as an individual. But once the proclamation is made, individuals become “we”, the beginning of the lifelong partnership. Once married, no longer “I”, but “we”. The result the world sees is that of “we” not “I”.
Both husband and wife are teammates in a lifelong relationship. Partners in all they do – good or bad. What God has joined together, let no decision put asunder.
We all have different ways of making our relationships work because we speak different love languages and have different personalities.
Some couples to be, during their pre-marriage education with me, talked about the fact that they want equality in their marriage. In as much as this is a good thing to desire and implement because that is how it should be, it can be a bit of challenge if not properly communicated in reality.
Equality is defined differently by everyone based on their background, exposures, upbringing, even values etc.
The demonstration of love and show of affection by partners in any marriage is always a reflection of how they hold equality in high esteem in their marriage. Things should be done reciprocally so as to achieve more.
Partners need to understand that, equality in a lifelong relationship is not necessarily the division of labour. Rather, it is about taking ownership of your responsibilities, embracing and leveraging on each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
Partners in marriage are not allowed to dominate each other because that is not the reason why God instituted marriage.
Husband and wife are co-laborers in the vineyard of building a home. As partners in the vineyard of homemaking, we both have responsibilities in ensuring the purpose of coming together as man and wife is fulfilled and never to seek dominance. There should be a balance in the house.
Position or superiority will not come to play when we start seeing marriage as a partnership. Head is in partnership with every part of the body and vice versa. Nothing can beat the support provided by the spouse in the heart of utmost challenging situation; more can really be accomplished when we embrace your strengths and weaknesses.
A lifelong relationship can and will offer greater benefits than you can imagine if you work together as a team. Your home will experience peace, you will stay focused, energized, accomplish more and be in sound health as partners in the vineyard of homemaking by working together as a team.
God’s expectation is for you and your partner to have dominion on earth. But this can only materialize when you are in partnership- agreement with your spouse. There’s shouldn’t be a lone ranger in marriage
Partnership in a lifelong relationship is all about leveraging on each other’s strengths and weaknesses and not about splitting the chores or finances into equal parts. Partners have different personalities, upbringing from different environments, different emotional disposition & values, which shaped their beliefs individually.
The truth is; there’s no perfect match in a lifelong relationship, the key is in understanding & appreciating each other’s differences. This is the power of partnership.
Two personalities with resemblances and variances living under the same roof as man & wife; that, is the power of partnership.
As an educator, this is what I teach my newlyweds & about to wed couples. Being equal partners in marriage is about this understanding and its appropriate application.
Partners in marriage should be aware of each other’s values and personalities, strengths & weaknesses, what drives or motivate them. If you are not aware of them, you may have issues with managing expectations.
Someone once told me a story of always buying Moimoi to be kept in the fridge & microwave whenever he feels like eating Moimoi. Because he knows his wife doesn’t have the capacity to go through the process of its preparation. Partners’ team together to make their home heaven on earth.
The question is: do you know your partner’s capabilities? Knowing is the first step to understanding and appreciating your partner. Always remember that more can be accomplished when we embrace our strengths and weaknesses.
There is the partnership in romance which is the desire to willingly respond to love offered by your spouse. It is the unforced rhythms of love. In romance, concentration is more on responsibilities than rights. Where the romantic partner is always mindful of how to demonstrate love to the other partner and not selfishly placing a demand on what his/her spouse should do.
This partnership in romance requires that partners sincerely and regularly admire each other. This sounds basic but it is powerful. Sincerely try it out on your spouse today and experience the power therein.
An outsider shouldn’t take the driver’s seat of your “admiration car” by being the first to admire your partner’s look. As husband and wife, we should know that expressing the erotic desire of your spouse is godly. Don’t just envision the stroking of your fingers on your spouse’s body, let your fingers communicate it. After all, if you sleep alone, you won’t have anyone to keep you warm on a cold night. Ecc 4:11
Be intentional. Enjoy each other. Embrace each other. Invest in each other. Do more together. Partner with each other and above all, with God.