Mar 27, 2019
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My Son and I

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It’s been so long, I patiently waited for this day to come. I am sure you are wondering what it is that gives me so much joy.

Well, let me start from where the thoughts brewed.

3 years before now, mine and I started pondering on when our children were going to pop the stories and ideas for marriage, I mean our first son was already 30 at the time. It was just logical to expect the questions. However, there was a serious issue. He never brought any girl home not even for a mare visit.

This bothered my wife and I but we both came to an agreement that we will not ask him anything but instead, we will pray about this asking the Lord to order all our children’s steps as we do not know what the Lord has for them.

3 years after that prayer was made, I can see my son hovering around my wife asking questions. Questions that bothered around marriage, parenting, relationship etc.

Happy I was about that but 3 weeks after that, here I am with my son in front of me asking me one question; “Daddy what is life as a married man?”

There is no logical way or clear-cut instructions to answer this question because my wife is different from whoever he will choose to marry. So also, I am totally different from my son.

As a father, I sort out to give him the moral lessons that I have learnt from my own course from this lifetime institution of marriage. I hope you’ll learn a thing or two as you also read on:

My son thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak to you concerning this question. I honestly do not take it for granted.

My son, always remember that the originator of marriage is God. You do not know your chart better than him.

My son, always remember your wife is a human being and she has emotions.

My son, it is okay to cry, it is okay to be vulnerable before your wife.

My son, never expose your wife to your children let alone the public.

My son, in all your doings, remember that you first married your wife first before your children came along.

My son, it is okay to work but do not let your work take away your family time and do not let your family time take away your personal time with your wife.

My son, you will notice that during your growing years, I never shouted at your mother in front of you or my friends. Please keep it that way in yours. As it is how you hold up your wife that people will do same.

My son, it is okay not to have money at some certain times, don’t be scared to ask your wife.

My son, the temptation to look at another woman will always occur but my son remember that she hasn’t left you in spite of all the handsome men that she came across before you, she still chose you.

My son, after the wedding day is not children, please do not pressure your wife. “KNOW” each other.

My son, build your wife. Push her to become better than she already is. Support her dream. Spend your money to see that she is the best in whatever field of life or business she wants to thread in.

My son, don’t be a boring man. Surprise your wife. Don’t wait for birthdays or Christmas or Valentine or anniversary to show her love. Pick a June 29th and an August 15th to gift her. Take her out for a dinner, a spa weekend, or a weekend getaway. Don’t break the bank while at it but you get what I mean.

My son, don’t be shy to call your wife by the carrots pet names you have for her. Sometimes in front of your friends, let her sit on your leg and call her those names.

My son, sometimes when she’s crying, she doesn’t need her husband and Lord, she needs her friend to just cuddle her and tell her that it’s all gonna be alright.

My son, in the end always remember just like the Bible says, It is a 3 fold cord that cannot be broken. Marriage is God, you and your wife. No other party is welcomed unless you let them.

My son, I know you will make a great man and husband. I am proud of the man that you have become. With this, I didn’t know when tears fell from my eyes. I hugged my son. Now that I think about it, my wife has truly rubbed off on me after our 45 years of marriage. I truly love my wife.

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Nike Adigun, The Pre-marriage Educator is a career HR generalist. She is also the founder & CEO of MyNaked, a game changer place for Marriage Education. Nike Adigun is a certified HR practitioner, Emotional Intelligence Performer, Relationship Assessment Facilitator and also a certified Marriage Mentor. She is passionate about God, family and giving couples a smart start in building a solid marriage relationship in a godly way. She is happily married to the crown on her head.

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