Mar 27, 2019
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The Good Fight In Marriage

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Weddings are not Marriages. However, in the former, the latter begins.

During the wedding vows, before God and Man, the bride and the groom proclaim the following words:

For Better; for Worse

For Richer; for Poorer

In Sickness, and in Health

Till death do us part…….

Some even go further to write their own vows.

Hmm, I must say at such moments, it is always very beautiful to watch, hear, and sometimes feel as witnesses.

However, I must ask how far can you go when the marriage gets worse, poorer, or sick? Or are we thought that; marriage is just the easy going flow, no work, just pleasure as we all see on the Gram?

Love we all agree is a decision but the good book says: “fight the good fight of faith…..to which you’re called (called to marriage) and have confessed the good confession….in the presence of many witnesses (those that were there when you got married)

Every marriage between one man and one woman is a call to fulfil a purpose.  A call to fulfil God’s command of which divorce or separation is not one of them. The courtship period should be purposeful and the core should be to determine if the two people involved are called to marry.

When a law student finished in law school, he is called to bar by oath (vows – which is a reflection of the duties), signs the rolls so that a court certificate of qualification can be issued & admitted into the Association of Barristers. 

In the same vein, the marriage vow is a fundamental reflection of duties of love on the part of the husband, submission on the part of the wife and a shared faithfulness of till death separates them. 

With this understanding, it is therefore critical to be sure of whom you are walking down the path with because marriage is work!!!

The man and woman in a lifelong relationship are called to be Apostle, prophets, teachers, leaders, etc of their home. It is required of them to fight the good fight of faith to fulfil this call upon their lives.

This fight is waging war both physically and spiritually. It is a fight to birth and to fulfil the God given purpose.  A fight to do what God commands. A fight to take responsibility and to nurture your faith together as man and wife. A fight to be valuable models to your children. The good fight is not an easy fight, but it is essential. We have to go all-out to fight for our marriage both spiritually and physically.

During this process, there will be the clash of expectations if not well managed. Disagreement is inevitable in a lifelong relationship especially when there are loads of expectations to be met by either spouse. However, the resultant effect of it is dependent on how it is handled. 

There is always an underlining factor for every disagreement that will ever occur in any lifelong relationship. Some could be lined with guilt, hurt, revenge, eroding trust, correction, or even anger. In any of these, guard your tongue when your spouse is livid. Because the devil has three folds of assignment: to steal, kill and destroy.

Even in any of those underlining factors, you can fight a good fight in your marriage if you know the value of your marriage and the purpose for which you became man and wife. Not all disagreements or fights in a lifelong relationship are unhealthy. In fact, research suggests that couples that suppress their annoyance when pounced on by their spouse, die earlier than couples that express their differences and resolve it.

To fight the good fight in marriage, you shouldn’t fight in anger. You shouldn’t fight to get back. Rather, you should deal with the issue at hand and find a common ground. Communicate your differences without judging each other. This is you fighting fairly in your marriage.

Ideally, there shouldn’t be anything like irreconcilable differences in marriage but the reality on ground today shows otherwise in some couples life. If you fully understood the principle of marriage and the vows you took which is a fundamental reflection of biblical principles of love and submission, nothing will be irreconcilable.

Disagreement becomes irreconcilable when both parties are not willing to yield; they are both bent on claiming their rights. The woman is edgy and the man’s ego is also at play. Each one is self-justified by their emotions.

Any lifelong relationship can go through turbulence, but because you have been equipped to wade through the waters, it will turn to testimony.

Go on your knees in prayer to wage the spiritual war, cultivate the right attitude in your marriage and be willing to let go to fight the physical battle. You have the capacity to withstand whatever life will throw at you in your marriage because His grace is ever sufficient.

Article Categories:
Couples

Nike Adigun, The Pre-marriage Educator is a career HR generalist. She is also the founder & CEO of MyNaked, a game changer place for Marriage Education. Nike Adigun is a certified HR practitioner, Emotional Intelligence Performer, Relationship Assessment Facilitator and also a certified Marriage Mentor. She is passionate about God, family and giving couples a smart start in building a solid marriage relationship in a godly way. She is happily married to the crown on her head.

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